yesterday

Some days, I get the distinct impression that God is working very specifically with me. He boils the water and drops me in the pot. He has purpose in how He orchestrates my day, although I don't seem to recognize it until the next day, after the rat on the wheel in my mind takes good long rest.

Yesterday was one of those days. It's no wonder then that God nudged my heart in the wee morning hours to set aside my daily Facebook habit until next week. No doubt my Facebook friends would have been given a play by play account of my discontent and overwhelmedness, robbing God of the glory He brings about in such things. Sanctification is the beautiful result of refinement.

I shall spare you the goriest of details, only to say that I've been caring for a sweet but sick 3 year old for an entire month. She is the sort of girl who usually portrays the picture of health, a lovely blessing that we all have enjoyed. But, a month ago, she fell prey to a respiratory bug that seems to have dug his feet in, a character flaw not out of place in this household. We have fought this battle with every homeopathic remedy and herb that we can find, yet with minimal success. Hand in hand with Mr. respiratory bug has been a stiff case of insomnia, a wretched beast that flares his head to battle when the weary are at their weariest. Suffice to say, I've not been at the peak of my game although the Lord has woven lovely graces into my character during these days. A miracle at its finest.

Yesterday. After another night of battle, I had determined in my mind to bring my little pipsqueak to the local minute clinic, desperate to know if something fiercer raged in her little body. A spot of breakfast, an episode of Dora and some laundry folding later, I packed up. The phone rang. My mother called to remind me to check the hours of operation for the minute clinic, a good lesson learned from a previous, now very entertaining to retell, experience. I picked up the laptop to check the hours and.....the screen of death appeared. A fatal hue of gray with the heart stopping words, "Imminent Failure of Hard Drive."

It was like a home stress test yet, without the monitors and cables to determine the extent of its capability, my heart pounded fiercely but maintained its strength. I stared at the screen before my eyes while thoughts of un-backed up data, lots of un-backed up data, raced through  my mind. My curly topped fairy, determined NOT to go the clinic in the first place and very exhausted from another nightly battle Mr respiratory bug and his buddy the giant insomnia monster , displayed the sin nature in its finest.

I can tell you that I did not respond with the great faith of those listed in Hebrews 11. I think the words "freaked out" might actually be a better description.  I can also tell you that heroes emerged through the smoke and rubble and came to my aid despite their own schedules and circumstances. I am ever so grateful for their selflessness on my behalf. And I can tell you that after 4 or so hours of work, most all my files, minus the few I accidentally lost in my haste, are all safely stored away.

To my husband, my mother, my sister and brother-in-law, my brothers and any others I may have forgotten to list, you have truly blessed me with your patience, your time, your generosity and your selflessness, thank you.

To the little pipsqueak who has stretched me and loved me and filled my heart with laughter and helped to make me a better mommy, thank you.

To the God who showers me with grace upon grace and loves me and ordains my days and my hours with His glorious purpose to make me more like Christ, thank you.

"For momentary light affliction is producing in us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:17

if not

If not for the gift of a friend's sweet words today I might still be sitting in the mire of doubt, afraid to try again.

If not for the goodness of my tender hearted husband I might not know God's love in such a tangible way.

If not for the sweetness and mischief loving-ness of my curly topped fairy, I would not know the joy of motherhood and the sanctifying work of my heart.

If not for the coolness of fall evenings, I might not appreciate the warm embrace of the sun.

If not for God's gift of His Son's life for my sinful heart I would not know life or peace or hope.

Thank you, God.

backseat ramblings

It was dark by the time we pulled out of the driveway and headed home. The car was quiet except for the sounds of my happy little companion in the backseat. She crunched on crackers and took long sips from her water cup. I drove along, watching for deer in the dark shadows, lost in my thoughts. From the quiet her voice rang out,"Here mom. I'm done with my snack." I reached back to take the plastic sandwich baggie from her hands and set it down on the seat beside me. Her empty mouth is never one for idleness so it wasn't long before her thought factory of a mind began production. She manufactures words faster than a used car salesman. For the rest of our drive she filled our car with stories and songs....

OH NO! (she gasped) I lost my twenty dollars. I can't find my money. Could you please share yours with me?

I realize, I need to have a business, but I don't know how to make free chocolates. I don't have the recipe. Maybe I could just get strawberries wet with a spray bottle, put them in the dryer than dip them in egg. I think that would be good. Do you think so? I need a business, I realize this. Maybe I could make chocolates in the wash machine and then put them in the dryer. I don't know.

Singings 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 at the top of her voice. Over and over...

Look! There's Kohls and there's another Kohls. Oh and there's Costco. And there's Nards (menards). I really need a Nards card.

More songs..a mix of the alphabet and the ever familiar 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

We sure have a lot of bathrooms in our house. WOW! (gasps)What should we do with ALL THOSE BATHROOMS! Oh wait. Auntie Sheri really has a lot of bathrooms. She has 3 upstairs. Victoria has a bathroom in her room. Oh WOW! (gasps) Oh WOW! She also has one downstairs. WOW (sigh) that's a lot of bathrooms. What should we do with all those bathrooms?? Wow! (long pause) Wow! So many bathrooms...

(sniffs the air) What's that smell? It smells like glue.

(driving through the neighborhood) Oh NO! Everyone took Christmas down. There's no frosty the snowman. Where did Christmas go?

(As we pull into our driveway) Oh NO! Who took our car...where is frosty (the sable)?  I tried to explain to her that we were riding in frosty the sable. She was too distressed to listen. Until we looked up to the house and saw daddy in the window. All thoughts of frosty disappeared.....

We gathered up our bags and headed inside, her little feet dancing in the dew-kissed grass, my mind repeating all of the sweet wordings she shared with me so I wouldn't forget. I hope I never forget.

and she danced to the sound of her dreams and the simple pleasures of life

blocks

I have writers block. It's not nearly as fun as lincoln logs, legos or those wooden shapes. In fact, it's not a toy at all.

In my attempt to try and make something bigger of my love of writing, I found some contests in which to enter my work. Bravado took hold and I envisioned lovingly cradling the works of my mind in my hands, before handing them off to be critiqued. No sooner had I confidently envisioned this than a masked bandit came by and swiped my brain. I watched helplessly as he stuffed my thoughts into a plastic sack then ran off into the night. For a time, I felt defeated. And now, much hand wringing later, I find myself ready to seek out this crafty pillager and take back what it is mine.

Help!

for the sufferer

I watch you suffer.

Oh, how it hurts.

I am angry. I want to fight back against the injustice you face. The battle. The journey. The weight of the load. The tears you've cried.

And while you trust God's sovereignty, you press on, press in, fighting tirelessly for hope.

Please know I pray for you.

Take heart.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalms 91:1



morning

From my padded deck chair I can see morning. Not the morning I usually see, the bars and gates of city living made alive by the bright faces of new blooms in my garden and sweet warbles of birds. I'm thankful for those birds, they escort my mind to a place far above the rumble of cars and mufflerless motorcycles, the growly engines of the occasional early mower, the incessant clamor of barking dogs. From my little city lot I  take what I can get, but I still dream of morning.

Today is different, special. Today I see morning in all its splendor. And I rejoice.

Morning.That glorious time when night and day make a mysterious exchange. When the covering of blackness give way and darkness is swallowed up in light. Slowly the sky melts. The world awakes, the little beings that inhabit the sheer beauty of God's creation rub the sleep from their eyes and go about the work of the day. They begin with song, praises echoing forth from their small throats in harmony with the others who share this space. A melodious chorus with an occasional solo. They usher in beauty with beauty.

Fresh faced beams hover behind the edge of view sending forth a canopy that illuminates the blue above. A row of pinetrees line the lake, framing the inland sea as if it were a mirror, the water as smooth as glass. The tips of the pinetrees glow, as if lit by fire, the branches below still dark. Dew drops have bathed all within reach, as if to clean yesterday from the surface of the world in preparation for today. A chipmunk runs past, stopping to observe the stranger in his midst. The call of the loons echo hauntingly.

I open my Bible and read Psalms, resonating with the prose of David's heart. Surrounded by God's handiwork, I experience the words more deeply. His majesty echoes from the words in my lap and the world I see at the same wondrous time.

From my chair on the porch I watch the day unfold. Hours pass and I'm unsure of whether I should keep my eyes open or close them and simply listen to the world awaken. I am captured by this beauty and simplicity in amazement of the grand design and execution. The Artist paints a masterpiece.

Unable to wait a moment longer light breaks forth, the sun lifts its head above the treeline and fills the world with gold. The ground, the air are colored in a honeyed hue. The sunkissed landscape shimmers And I catch my breath, the beauty of the past hours a prelude to this glory.

In the suns presence, the fragrance of the morning changes. The thick, damp air dries in the sun like laundry on the line. In its place, the pure aroma of light.

The chill of night packs its bags and heads home as the warmth of the sun fills the day. I center my face in its glow and feel its kiss, my feet still chilly in the shade of the porch post. The day will be warm, I can feel it.

Slowly emerging from its hiding place, morning has thrown open the shutters and welcomed the day. Day has come and with it the sound of feet padding down the hall, a chainsaw in the distance, the coffeemaker steaming out a rich, dark brew, sleepy eyed conversations. The chorus of nature bursts forth, as if the music it performs gave a crescendo. Wind whispers through the pines. Acorns pop and snap as they fall from the trees and land on the ground below.

Day. The performance has ended, yet just begun.

"Lord, you have been our Dwelling place in all generations.

 Before the mountains were born, 

or You gave birth to the earth and the world,

even from everlasting to everlasting,

You are God."

Psalm 90:1-2

smart guy

Evie wasn't so sure she wanted to visit Paul Bunyan-land.

"Paul Bunyan is a really big man who knows your name," Daddy explained,"should we go there?"
"No," she said.
"It will be so fun," Daddy said, "Why don't you want to go?"
"Because he's a really smart guy," she said.

So we told her all about the rides and tractors and animals and she, despite still feeling timid about Paul, the smart guy, decided she might like to try it out. So, we did.

"Hello EEEvie," said Paul.

She froze, her eyes wide with terror. 

Remember these?

I got excited over a trash can.

I took a picture.

My traveling companions laughed at me.

I'm a bit quite sentimental and I'm okay with that.

Paul and his lady friend.

Prehended by a Peli-can

Do you ever wonder how the dinosaurs became extinct?

Paul Bunyan took care of them.

Thanks, Paul.

Pretty girl in the schoolhouse mirror.

Remember these slides?

Shiny metal. Tall. No sides. Dangerous.

Heh.

Our motley crew.

(Complete with 3 year-old who has a new

love of creative expressions)

View from the top

The rollercoaster to beat all.

Literally.

So painful.