observationsofahopefulheart: April 2012

Dark brown eyes. A tousled mess of light brown hair. Quick feet. Full of laughter and dreams. Confidence.

A snapshot of yester-year. A pocket full of memories I still carry with me. That was me.

What happens?

When do we lose the wide eyed innocence, the joy of the moment?

I remember those days; youthful, bright eyed, thinking that the days to come were filled with wonder. That the freedom of being a grown-up must be the things dreams are made of. Playing with friends as much as I wanted, staying up later than 8pm, eating candy. Surely, the joys awaiting were beyond my little mind....

Then I grew up.

There is much joy. The joy of Jesus, the joy of family, the joy of marriage, the joy of children, the joy of love, the joy of beauty. Yes, in Christ there is much joy to be found and we can look ahead with hope to the joy of eternity to come.

I must look up to find my joy, keep my eyes fixed. It is a daily discipline. A moment by moment choice. But, the fruit of choosing well is sweet. For in this world we will have trouble, but we can take heart in knowing the One who holds us fast.

Oh, how life hurts. Broken people. Broken relationships. Loss. Sin. It feels smothering sometimes. How our bodies and our minds and our hearts shrivel up or fall apart. How our close friends become our enemies. Misunderstanding. Watching other people suffer and feeling helpless. Disappointment. Wondering if what people think of you is true even when you know it isn't. Falling into the mire of despair and wondering if it is really worth each breath you struggle to breathe

Yes. It is worth it.

I hear the singings of my sweet 2 year old, riding her bike around the living room. I love to see life through her eyes, the sheer delight of it all. I must admit, I do find a touch of envy in my heart. I wish I could erase all of the troubles and take in the world with wonder. I cherish these days and love how contagious her joy is. How good God is to give us the sweetness of children to help us remember the sweetness of the joys that were once ours. And maybe to remind us that we, as parents, are lovingly caring for them, the children, despite their limited perception of our doings just as He mysteriously works for our good.

Life hurts (badly). Hold fast.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you;
not as the world gives, do I give to you.

Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

John 14:27

"God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear...

Cease striving and know that I am God."

Psalms 46:1, 2a, 10a

¹ Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
² Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
³ Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
⁴ Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
⁵ Who satisfies youryears with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

⁶ The LORD performsrighteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
⁹ He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
¹⁰ He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. ¹² As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.
¹⁴ For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
¹⁶ When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
¹⁷ But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those
who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children,
¹⁸ To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

¹⁹ The LORD has established His throne in the heavens,
And His sovereignty rules overall.
²⁰ Bless the LORD, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
²¹ Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
²² Bless the LORD, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Psalms 103

p.s. this is a general summary of life...not a round-a-bout telling of any personal relationship issues. My marriage is wonderful...so wonderful that I have to pinch myself sometimes to see if it's real. Also, I think it's funny that spell-check does not like the word "lovingkindness." I guess God's lovingkindness truly is better than life (there are simply no words for it).

We woke up with the sunshine, although not particularly willingly, after an abbreviated night of sleep. There is always much to do before a day of celebration, but sleep is never on that list. Cupcakes to decorate, baskets to fill, heads of hair to trim and every task involved seems to create a mess from which the words "clean up ___" are added to the list of to-do's. Perhaps even those who set up and took down the last supper might have felt the same way. Where there is the joy of community, there is work involved. Joyful work from which good memories are made.

Sleepy brown eyes and tangled hair. Little hands reached in to a basket full of surprises. She opened a few before we ate our breakfast and dressed in our fancies. It was a morning to celebrate, to quiet our busy minds and lift our hearts in worship to our risen Lord. Death was defeated, alleluia!

From a room of praise to a house full of cheerful chatter, we gathered at Dad & Mom Gall's house for an Asian feast. Food, fellowship, an egg hunt and some tennis baseball made for some light hearts and sweet memories.

We packed our party (which, at this point, included a sugared-up, un-napped child) and made the journey north for the annual Ducommun egg hunt. The bucket headed group gathered on the steps and the hunt began. It was a quieter experience without the shrieks and shouts of sugar-Sheri, but fun, nonetheless.When all eggs were accounted for the Bible trivia began. It's good to see what tired, sugared brains can accomplish.