here

Why is it that we search far beyond our reaches for the joy dangling in front of our fingertips? I speak from experience. It is often in the unexpected that we find what we are looking for.

This past weekend found us knee deep in celebrating and laughter and family. We laughed and chatted to the sound of plastic roller skates on a tile floor and a gaggle of bouncy, screaming girls celebrating 6 years of life with cake and painting pottery. We tripped over piles of toys and piles of things emptied from a leaky kitchen sink cabinet. We revisited a day 17 years ago when vows were made and child-faced grown ups made vows to each other. We shivered in the cold. We visited Target- twice in as many days. Messes and memories all in one. 

Yesterday found my little companion and I together- how I love these days. Grandma came in the morning to visit and read "The Boxcar Children" to a little girl who listens with her imagination. Afternoon came quickly, and with it a long list of to-dos. From her seat in the back she fills the car with tales and wonder and questions. Lots of questions. Lots of in and outs. She reached her end at Hallmark where she demanded that I buy her those stickers "because she certainly was a good little girl." We left without stickers and she cheered quickly in the sunshine. We skipped to the car, stopping only to inquire about the rocks in medians. "Why are those there?" she wondered aloud. In our drivings we passed a wheelchair bound man walking his exuberant dog. I prayed for him, smiled at the black fur bouncing beside and thanked God for legs that walk so easily. 

Last night found us in our cozy little home and sweet togetherness. I was stricken down by mysterious and debilitating pain. Andy served our little family by caring for the needs at hand. Evie visited me often with her sweet smile, her kisses and a plethora of small gifts. Strawberry Shortcake, a small pebble and a piece of birch bark still decorate the table beside my bed. From under a blanket I listened to life and savored the sound. I sent them out to enjoy the last bits of day and they were hesitant. "Go," I said wanting to hear the stories of outside. While I waited, I filled the quiet with a message by Kara Tippets. Nothing challenges the heart quite like a message of hope from a suffering soul. 

They returned from their adventuring with smiles and tales and the fresh smell of spring. I listened and felt as though I'd been a part. The day winded down and with it a brown-eyed girl. We snuggled together under blankets and daddy read from Mark. From around his head she peeked at me; smiling when she caught my eye. And we prayed- thankfulness to start- for there is much. And prayers for the needy- for there are many. 

We haven't much but we have much more. Here- where the kind and gentle words of a good man fall on me and I feel undeserving. Here- where a little brown haired girl dances and questions everything and builds snail houses outside the door. Here- where we laugh and dream and watch God open up our hearts to the good things right before our eyes. 

I am surrounded by colors and words and smells and sights and sounds and they are beautiful. Joy is here and I grab hold.