children, cranberries and courage

Why don't tired children embrace sleep? As I type, my very tired child is jumping in her bed and singing a merry tune. Quite soon I may hear the sound of a blanket, stuffed animal and baby Lola being dumped overboard. If I hear a "mommy!" I know to come quick, this means that clothes have or are about to be removed.

We've all heard of the terrible twos. That (hopefully) brief span of a small child's life when parents wonder who swapped their sweet little baby with this...creature. I will admit, I thought it was a farce until my sweet little baby transitioned into that...creature. Her beautiful cherub face, a smile brighter than any Christmas tree and a will stronger than steel.

All is not lost. There are still those little moments when I see glimpses of her sweetness and her silly self. Like when we're driving in the car and she chatters on with the snowman window cling in her hand, speaking for the snowman as he has no voice. Snowman,"Hi. I'm a snowman. Can I come to Evie's house?" Evie, "Oh yes, snowman, you can come over." Snowman, "Can I stick to your window in your bedroom?" Evie, "Yes, you can." and then she says to me, "Mom, the snowman is coming over to stick on my window." Or as I rock her before bed and she whispers little memories of the day. Or when she runs up to give me a squeeze hug and plant a noisy kiss on my lips and then tries to pull handfulls of my hair out by the roots...

I wonder, Lord, am I equipped for this? Can I teach this little girl about You and show her how to love You and know You and obey? Am I going to mess this up?  How do I teach her truth?  How can I know if I'm doing the right thing when she keeps right on being just as naughty? How can she find so many things to get into? How many spankings can one child get in a day?  Help!

Cranberries!

I just had to find a way to insert cranberries in here. Here's why: #1-I have a thing for cranberries. I just finished eating a cranberry smoothie so I'm thinking about them right now. #2 They start with "c" just like children and courage, and I think they tie things together quite nicely. #3 Because they are red and red is a pretty color.

I've just returned from a trip to the little one's room. I left some stern words there for her to think about. She didn't think about them for long. I can already hear the sounds of jumping and singing again. I hear a great sigh (oh wait, that was me)

Crisis averted! I heard a "mommy! I'm poopy!" and discovered a pantless, but not diaperless, poopy diapered child. Diaper changed and baby is laying back in her bed...for now.

I pray each day for the heart of my little girl. That she will learn obedience. That she will grow to see her sinful heart and be captured by Jesus. That she will be strong and courageous for the truth of the gospel.

I pray for my own heart. That I will be tender, patient and selfless. That I will be faithful to follow Christ so that my life teaches my daughter how to live well. That I will be strong and courageous for the truth of the gospel.

God hears the prayer of my heart.

I press on in courage, thankful for the cloud of witness who have gone before and share their wise words and encouragement. They testify, to those who follow, of God's great mercy. And I press on in joy at the sweetness of those moments that are only ours for a short while. Little children are not little for very long.

"Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for." Jerry Seinfeld

courage

I have been working, for some time, on a post about courage. They all started out with a few flowery sentences but trailed off into nothingness. But now, as I sit in the dark, alone on my couch at 2am and stare at circumstances that I simply cannot see relief from, I need to climb on my soapbox and tell myself a thing or two about courage. Because God IS doing something good in this and He will give me the strength and courage to endure.

Somtimes, I have to write to remind myself of what is true because my feelings and my fears are telling me something different.

I think about courage quite often. I wonder what courage looks like, tastes like, feels like. It is significant, I know this. God talks about being strong and courageous. And so it must be that if He offers the challenge, He will also give us the necessary courage to stand in its face (and maybe even push back).

Courage pushes the needle through the fabric and presses on to make something good and beautiful out of something ordinary or impossible. It is the heartbeat in a challenge. It is beauty in ashes. It is quietness and strength in the face of the unknown. It is speaking up for truth. It is being who God made you to be.

It is endurance with hope when one sits on the couch in misery at 2am.

Take heart!

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them. For the Lord your God is the One who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." Deutoronomy 31: 5-7

celebrate

November 8, 2011

"I am unpacking the party box. It's time to celebrate! After an very unpleasant spell, I was blessed with a season of feeling good again. And for this, I put on my party hat and sing!" 

November 11, 2011

I never had a chance to finish that post. It would have been filled with colorful streamers, shiny yellow balloons and toe tapping music. I wanted you to dance with me in celebration of good days. They are a gift...rare and precious though they be.

Today, the sun is shining brightly. Evie and I basked in it's rays and breathed in the freshness of the fall air as we played at the park  this morning. Is there anything so exciting as a trip to the park?  Life, through the eyes of a 2 year old, is something to be celebrated. Just the thought of a trip to the park threw her into an inexpressible delight. She exclaimed "park!" several times before galloping around on her imaginary steed who gave his sign of approval in the, "nay her her!" she expressed for him. We bundled up and drove to a new park. I think she was a little saddened that the park was empty when we arrived, but she felt better after deciding that the children were all "at work" and would join her later. We were joined, for a bit, by 4 year old Sophie and her grandpa. Sophie chattered away and Evie followed her all around. Often it seems, Evie loses herself in wonderment of other children. What is her little mind thinking? I knew what it was thinking as we tried to leave the park. Her tears told me that. But, we tell the park that we will come visit it again soon and it helps...somewhat.

I started my day on a rough note. When the veil of sleep lifted and I was aware of the day and the all too familiar manifestations of my mysterious unwellness I didn't think hopeful thoughts. But, in the stillness, the Lord spoke to me through His Word. I took the words of Psalm 71 and asked the Lord to help me to be consumed with Him today.

"14-But, as for me I will hope continually,
and will praise you yet more and more.
15-My mouth shall tell of your righteousness
and your salvation all day long;
for I do not know the sum of them.
16-I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord God;
I will make mention of your righteousness, Yours alone."

And in His mighty deeds and His tenderness, He answered my prayer.

Great is our God!

I am unpacking the party box. It's time to celebrate! For in this life, though full of uncertainties and trouble, we can find great, inexpressible joy in the righteousness, salvation and mighty deeds of our God. I will lift up my hands and sing for my heart is full of praise!

tower of courage

No, I don't have the dates wrong. I know that halloween was actually yesterday. But yesterday, I only had enough time to start and not to finish, so... please pretend that it's halloween and it's beautiful out and whatever else makes you feel like you are reading this yesterday.

Today was halloween. It was also a lovely day. A fine combination. Made me want to curl up in a chair and nap. Not what you expected, I'm sure. But hey, I was tired!

Joyce came over this afternoon. She and Evie made a barn out of wooden blocks on the living room floor and filled it with farm animals. They were enjoying the day together before it was time to "trick-ter-treat" (as said by Evie). They were happy. I was happy. Supper was happily bubbling away on the stove. Andy was happily cleaning up leaves in the yard. My hair looked good. My sister got the package that I had mailed to her. There was happiness all around.

All of a sudden, there came a different sound from the living room. Joyce telling Evie to "stop it!"

Typically, I try to let them figure things out for themselves. But, trying to keep the "happy" up in our house, I stepped in to take a look. There was Evie, taking the blocks from their farm-ation and making a tall tower.

"What's wrong," I asked Joyce. "Evie is making a tower with the blocks," she said, " and it might fall down!"  I assured her that a falling block tower would not pose a threat to either of them and she agreed, relieved that they faced no danger in this new game.

As I headed back into the kitchen the wheels of my mind began to turn, thinking about the story that I had just witnessed and the relevance it had on real life. How many of us sit back in fear afraid to "stack a few blocks" because they "might fall down"?

What would life look like if you took a few blocks and started a tower? What if the tower didn't fall down? What if the tower did fall down? What if you felt free and empowered and full of PEACE? What if God is calling you to step out and do something that you are telling yourself is too scary to try? What if...good things came of pressing into fear?

I love to watch people who dream of big towers. They aren't paralyzed at the mere thought of falling blocks. Courage rises out of a pile of rubble and pushes them to dream of a higher, fancier tower.

A tower of courage begins with one single block.


"Strength and dignity are her clothing, she smiles at the future." Proberbs 31:25