Perspective.
Life hasn't exactly gone as planned. Does it ever? If it did, I might wonder if I was actually living in the will of God.
A little Evie and six years. Six beautiful years of life and laughter and wondering if God might have designed our family as a little group of three. Late last summer we were surprised by joy and the discovery of a new little life growing inside me.
A storage locker filled to the brim and two years. Two years of memories made in small spaces and dreams of a little house down a dirt road to call home.
God's plans were different.
Six years of waiting ended on the sunny morning of May 18 when I birthed a beautiful little boy. A beautiful little boy with thick black hair who never breathed air before he met Jesus. Nine months of wiggles and hiccups and five hours in my arms.
Two years of waiting ended on May 7 when a strong and kindly crew of friends and family moved our earthly treasures into a little house in the city. A little house with a beautiful back yard.
God was not finished.
This morning finds me sleepless and staring out through the early morning light. I savor the silence of these early hours, they are mine. A fitting end to the last five days I've lived.
This week has been a story of its own, what with Evie's health and the challenges and adventures of street repairs all mingled in with the bitter taste of grief. Sleepless nights and Doctor visits and noisy trucks and a water main break and the pavement missing and so much dirt and...
Through my window God paints the world gold and opens my eyes to see it. Oh the irony, my dirt road.
Two years of waiting ended on May 7 when a strong and kindly crew of friends and family moved our earthly treasures into a little house in the city. A little house with a beautiful back yard.
God was not finished.
This morning finds me sleepless and staring out through the early morning light. I savor the silence of these early hours, they are mine. A fitting end to the last five days I've lived.
This week has been a story of its own, what with Evie's health and the challenges and adventures of street repairs all mingled in with the bitter taste of grief. Sleepless nights and Doctor visits and noisy trucks and a water main break and the pavement missing and so much dirt and...
Through my window God paints the world gold and opens my eyes to see it. Oh the irony, my dirt road.
3 comments:
My beautiful friend. I am excited to see how God turns heartbreak into something that we cannot imagine. He can and He WILL, in time....thank you for sharing your heart. I am blessed by you.
My beautiful friend. I am excited to see how God turns heartbreak into something that we cannot imagine. He can and He WILL, in time....thank you for sharing your heart. I am blessed by you.
I was JUST doing laundry and praying that you would find your way back to your blog! I am learning, through my own struggles, that writing can help. It helps you with healing and letting us help with your journey. It helps me, and others dealing with broken hearts, to know our feelings are real, and may seem odd to others but, to those in the midst of it...it makes perfect sense. It okay to cry and it is okay to feel joy. Hugs to you my long distance friend.
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