Let's begin class with a pop quiz today...it's just one question- so answer carefully.
What is more challenging?
a) to experience suffering
b) to watch someone you love experience suffering
c) both a & b...at the same time
d) to eat green eggs and ham
I would venture to guess that this question either hits home with you right now or that you can very clearly recall a time you have already experienced this. (There is no right or wrong answer to this question...you passed the test)
I am lying on my couch today, thankful that my busy toddler is snug in her bed (filled to overflowing with stuffed animals...just as she likes it) fast asleep. It was a late night and an early morning for me so I'm sleepy today. Just as I laid my head on my pillow last night I was struck with a bad case of active-mind-itis which raged on until about 2:30 a.m.. This morning at 6:30, as the alarm sounded, I thought of how lovely it would be for that active-mind-itis to return and give me a little jolt to get up and out of bed. It didn't, but I still managed to pull myself out from under my snuggly covers to ready myself for the day (and the early test I had scheduled at the hospital). I did make it in time and ate a delicious bowl of radioactive eggs before snuggling up on a hard plastic table to lay still for 2 hours. It wasn't so bad- I made it. It's always after the test that gets me. "No side effects" means that I will probably feel awful for the rest of the day- which is proving true thus far.
It is really hard to watch someone that I love suffer. I think I've cried more tears for them then for me lately. I want to make it all better. But I can't...for the same God that allows my afflictions has allowed theirs. Rips my heart out...
My hope colored glasses fell off this morning...where did they go?
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