nancy drew-itis

A good story is all I need...I have a good imagination and I'm not afraid to use it.

I have always loved a good book and through the years have found creative ways to incorporate a book in when I didn't like the alternative. I can remember reading "The Magic Kite" by flashlight while under a mound of covers at night. I think it was confiscated for a short while (during which I was dying to know what happened after they ran out of the magic glue!) and I might remember being told that I wasn't to read at night again, but I think I forgot it at the time. Homework was nicely spiced up by tucking a book somewhere close. It was very important to have a bookmark handy for these times- I had to work quick. And now, well, that basket of laundry can wait...

There are down sides to having a good imagination, though. "The Velveteen Rabbit" was a good read, but after it I was quite convinced that toys actually came alive at night. "Charlotte's Webb" made me believe that pigs, spiders and rats have real feelings. There were others too, which tugged at my heartstrings and opened my eyes...

Nancy Drew mysteries were my weakness. Once I opened the cover- I was hooked. No matter what the situation- she was perfect. No matter how scary or awful the mystery was- she could solve it. She always stayed perfectly calm, looked perfectly wonderful, drove the perfectly coolest car, could do anything more perfectly than anyone else...and through it all she escaped the bad guys and brought the mysteries to light. It's been a long time since I've opened the cover of a Nancy Drew mystery novel, and I really don't remember any of the mysteries she solved, but I still have Nancy Drew-itis. It's not a rare disorder...it just happens to go by other names too.

It seems logical to me that I should be able to tell my head that Nancy Drew is fictional. She's a relative of Betty Crocker. Her perfection is nothing more than a few good sounding words that somebody else dreamed up. But with those words, I've created a picture in my mind, for myself, that simply isn't...it isn't real, it isn't attainable. And yet, I strive...and stress...and ruin perfectly good things telling myself that "good" isn't "perfect." I will always disappoint myself.

A friend asked me to consider how I thought of myself...about the mistakes I thought God made when He created me. It sounds really sad to think of it that way...and yet, it's basically what I've been telling God and myself through my "need" for perfection. She challenged me to make a list of the gifts God has given me and to thank Him for them. It's a good place to start. I realize I need to figure out a healthy way to embrace God's design of me so that I can teach my daughter how wonderfully and marvelously He made her too. I can clearly see a masterpiece before my eyes in her...

My newest favorite books are biographies and other non-fiction stories. There seems to be more of a draw for me to see the inner workings of another person's heart and life instead of dreaming along with something that someone else thought up. Maybe it's time to pick up a little fiction and fire up my imagination...live in the moment, dream a little.

With book in hand she skipped off....